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| My NEW song! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 3 2011, 11:10 AM (706 Views) | |
| Jonny Justice | Jul 3 2011, 11:10 AM Post #1 |
Level 7
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http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Elysium-Trigger/200491893310136?sk=app_178091127385 There's the link! I've been a musician for a long time but I've never been able to record any of my songs well until recently when a friend offered to help me record as much as I wanted to for free...so here is the first song. Let me know what you think, please! Constructive criticism! |
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| ArmLegGamer | Jul 3 2011, 01:41 PM Post #2 |
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Level 3
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I like it! Then again, I like pretty much all music, so my opinion probably doesn't count all that much. 
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| eSkilliam | Jul 3 2011, 01:50 PM Post #3 |
Gamer. Graphic Designer. Geek.
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Not bad. Not bad at all. It was recorded nicely too. I like the idea of the screaming in the background, but not how it was done. It's too stressed or something, and a little too pronounced; it covers up the singers voice. The screaming feels like it should be kind of mesmerizing there, but instead, it kind of feels like it smacks you in the face, if that makes sense. Some amazing guitar work in there. Also, I'm not a fan of your logo for the band. Overall, if you keep making music like this, I think you'll hit it off well. |
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eSkilliam on Steam - eSkilliam on Wii U - CetiAlphaVI on PS4 eSkilliamgaming on Youtube - eSkilliam on Twitch - eSkilliam on Twitter | |
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| Xsleepyx3 | Jul 3 2011, 04:28 PM Post #4 |
VAPÖR
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really amazing. only thing is that near the end i couldnt really understand what you were saying whatsoever. and i gotta agree with eskilliam, the words kinda felt like they were forced out. but other then that. it was pretty badass! 
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| pokemonzrpg | Jul 3 2011, 05:22 PM Post #5 |
Zach Archer
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Sounds really good, I like it a lot. Although i do agree with eSkill on the screaming part, I think it all came together nicely. |
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| TimOfficial | Jul 3 2011, 07:35 PM Post #6 |
God
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Pretty catchy, well mixed, recording sounds good. I'm not sure if I like that specific style of music but, the song was good. I see you going on to have a decent musical career sir 
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| Goza | Jul 3 2011, 10:36 PM Post #7 |
a.k.a. sexy
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This actually sounds fairly good, I could rock out to this. |
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| NostalgiaKing | Jul 4 2011, 09:44 AM Post #8 |
These aren't the droids we're looking for.
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Needs a bit of polishing to really shine, but there's some potential there for sure. Please keep in mind that I'm just trying to give some constructive criticism. I absolutely hate it when people ask for constructive criticism, and everyone just gushes without giving any real opinions. So, here goes... Right off the bat I'm being sung at. The singing could have been delayed by about... 10 seconds. Play the main riff once or twice, then start singing. Mess with your delay/echo settings a bit for your vocals; a little more "room" would do wonders here, especially on the verses. The verses sound like they're the same recording. But then again, the song adheres to the melody pretty strictly, so they could have been individually recorded. I just can't differentiate them from eachother with a casual listen. I prefer a looser approach when it comes to singers; this recording lacks a certain rawness, which is ironic, considering it's essentially a demo xD Speaking of the melody... it gets a bit tedious after awhile. A bit of variety with the singing would have remedied this. I guess this goes with the points above; it's too strict for me. To me, the melody is a guideline, not a roadmap. It also doesn't accomodate your singing range. You're pushing it too much at times, mainly when you're trying to sing higher than you can. The ending was a bit jarbled. I couldn't really understand what you were singing. You could have sung it to a secondary melody that was more fitting for the lyrics. It felt like you were rushing the words to fit the melody, and the end product, to me, suffered a bit because of it. This may have simply been due to production, though. The screaming mentioned by other users... is just there. To me, it didn't really add to the song. A different delivery could have changed it completely though, so I don't know. I'm not a fan of your tone (the tone, not the playing!), but the guitar needs to be brought up higher into the mix to show it off. It's too low in it's current form, and feels like you're wanting it to be listened to as filler, and you're wanting everyone to focus on the singing. Bring it higher! (Yes, I know it's just a demo, but keep it in mind if you ever rerecord it!) Guitar pride, dude! Please keep in mind that I much prefer other genres of music, so what you're reading is a bystander's point of view. So, you can pretty much throw my CC out the window xD One thing of note... I'm reminded of video games when I hear it. The original PlayStation in particular. I have absolutely no idea why, haha. Keep up the great work man! |
  Follow me on Twitter! --- My Backloggery --- YouTube --- Media Moths | |
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| Jonny Justice | Jul 4 2011, 11:07 AM Post #9 |
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Level 7
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Thanks to all you guys for listening and giving feedback! We appreciate it! We know it isn't perfect, but we're proud of it. We just don't have some equipment that we should have used, so we did the best we could with what we have. I was really happy with it. It's funny, other people have been letting us know what they think to, it's funny how some people say they like certain elements, then the next person comes along and hates it haha. That's opinion for you! But we appreciate the feedback, we're already working on the next song! |
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| NostalgiaKing | Jul 4 2011, 11:20 AM Post #10 |
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These aren't the droids we're looking for.
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Can't wait to hear your next song! Like I said, keep up the great work! |
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Follow me on Twitter! --- My Backloggery --- YouTube --- Media Moths | |
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| pokemonzrpg | Jul 4 2011, 12:20 PM Post #11 |
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Zach Archer
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Yeah, keep up the good work and I will be sure to check out your next song when it arrives! And man Eric, you really go all out when it comes to criticizing music (constructively, of course!), don't you? |
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| Jonny Justice | Jul 8 2011, 04:08 PM Post #12 |
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Level 7
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Just wanted to let you guys know that if you like my music, go to the page and like it, it's where all the music will be released from now on! http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Elysium-Trigger/200491893310136?sk=app_178091127385 |
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| Jonny Justice | Jul 16 2011, 05:56 AM Post #13 |
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Level 7
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Well, we recorded my next song, and I have to say that quality wise, this is better by leaps and bounds! Please let me know what you think! http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Elysium-Trigger/200491893310136?sk=app_178091127385 |
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| eSkilliam | Jul 16 2011, 08:56 AM Post #14 |
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Gamer. Graphic Designer. Geek.
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I like the feeling of the first song a little more but this one isn't bad. I have one piece of advice for this one. The beginning part with the 'faded' vocals i guess you would call them, Is too long. Artists use that to build up tension before releasing energy at the beginning of a song, but yours goes long enough to where the listener is wondering if the whole song is actually going to be done with low quality vocals. Now when you bring that effect back later in the song it fits perfect, length and everything. I also really like the ending and everything else about the song. And I agree that the recording is much better in this one. Keep up the great work. I'm off to listen to your first song again now. Edit* I take that back about the beginning vocal part being too long. It only sounded odd on the first listen. The second time through it actually matched quite well. Just don't put that song as the first one on your album. Edited by eSkilliam, Jul 16 2011, 09:02 AM.
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eSkilliam on Steam - eSkilliam on Wii U - CetiAlphaVI on PS4 eSkilliamgaming on Youtube - eSkilliam on Twitch - eSkilliam on Twitter | |
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| Jonny Justice | Jul 16 2011, 09:39 AM Post #15 |
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Level 7
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We're recording in the order that they will appear on the CD, so it won't be first, it will be second! We are constantly going back and fixing stuff in the songs. Like Our Sick Circle has already been remixed, parts re recorded, guitar effects changed...sounds a lot better now. Take Myself Back was different from that song in feeling for a reason. I want the first song to hit kind of hard, like a mid ground for what everything else sounds like, then TMB comes in, a little softer, more poppy. The song we are working on now is kind of mellow but then kicks in like a Taking Back Sunday/Jimmy Eat World song at certain parts. Then, it goes full drive into a heavier song. It's fast, lyrics are kind of intense, music is really just like "I'M HERE TO KICK AS AND CHEW GUM AND I'M ALL OUT OF GUM." After that, another song with heavy guitars, although a bit slower...then the last song is just like a straight punk rock song. That's why I chose to do a song with a vastly different feel, I wanted people to know that I don't have just one set style, know what I mean? |
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| eSkilliam | Jul 16 2011, 10:01 AM Post #16 |
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Gamer. Graphic Designer. Geek.
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completely understandable. Albums are like that Usually different people will have different favorites off the album. Keep going man, you all are on to something there. |
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eSkilliam on Steam - eSkilliam on Wii U - CetiAlphaVI on PS4 eSkilliamgaming on Youtube - eSkilliam on Twitch - eSkilliam on Twitter | |
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| Jonny Justice | Jul 16 2011, 02:04 PM Post #17 |
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Level 7
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We certainly are. For now we are planning 6 songs and 1 cover...but if things keep going well, it's 12 songs and 1 cover. Which I really hope and think will happen. |
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| pokemonzrpg | Jul 16 2011, 04:26 PM Post #18 |
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Zach Archer
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I saw you posted it on Twitter a while back and I left some of my impressions there. I actually think it's better suited for you as a singer versus the first, even though I really liked the first one as well. Of course there's always room for some tweaking, but I'm not your most knowledgeable source when it comes to that. |
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| Jonny Justice | Aug 1 2011, 08:50 PM Post #19 |
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Level 7
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I just posted up the third song I recorded! This one was really fun, but hard also. I wrote it while we were recording the first two, so it took longer to get a lot of it right, but I'm happy with it. Please check it out and let me know you think! It's called Invitation Only! http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Elysium-Trigger/200491893310136?sk=app_178091127385
Edited by Jonny Justice, Aug 1 2011, 08:51 PM.
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| Jonny Justice | Aug 6 2011, 05:03 PM Post #20 |
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Level 7
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Also, for those of you interested, there is now a tumblr page where you can read studio updates, here exclusive demo tracks and whatnot. http://theelysiumtrigger.tumblr.com/ |
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| Jonny Justice | Dec 31 2011, 01:00 PM Post #21 |
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Level 7
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http://www.facebook.com/TheElysiumTrigger?sk=app_178091127385 Hey, guys! I just uploaded the next song last night, and it's my favorite so far. Fans of Emily, you may be pleased to see our direction. I think that it will suit your tastes! It's my favorite song so far. It's strange to think that a few months ago I thought that we wouldn't sound any better than we started out, but the recording process is something you learn, and the sound just keeps getting better and better. I'm really happy with the direction the album is going. I just wanted to take the time to first let you guys know that all the songs are up on facebook, and are free to download at any time. Also, I wanted to say thanks to those of you who have said kind things to me and given me pointers to perhaps make the songs better. I take every comment into my brain and give it a try before I shoot it down. So thanks! http://www.facebook.com/TheElysiumTrigger?sk=app_178091127385 |
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| eSkilliam | Dec 31 2011, 04:14 PM Post #22 |
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Gamer. Graphic Designer. Geek.
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Pretty Amazing. My second favorite to Emily. I still rock out to Emily every so often. Hope you don't mind that Emily is the only MP3 saved to my Desktop for easy access. **edit** forgot the critique. This song just like Emily... Don't change a thing. You hit it perfect. Edited by eSkilliam, Dec 31 2011, 04:16 PM.
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eSkilliam on Steam - eSkilliam on Wii U - CetiAlphaVI on PS4 eSkilliamgaming on Youtube - eSkilliam on Twitch - eSkilliam on Twitter | |
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11:55 AM Jul 13