| Welcome to the PGRF gaming community! Everyone here is very friendly, so don't hesitate to say hi and engage in some video game discussion with all of us! From retro to modern, there's no discrimination here. If you have any questions, feel free to ask the moderators and administrators! Have fun. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free! Join our community! |
| Depressed | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 8 2012, 08:38 PM (726 Views) | |
| SwitchStyles | Apr 8 2012, 08:38 PM Post #1 |
Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici
|
Alright, some of you may have noticed that I only post like once in a blue moon now and I haven't really been my usual self... For a while I stopped posting because my girlfriend moved back in January and I was trying to spend all my time with her. I eventually bought her a ring and asked her to marry me. Everything was going great. She said yes. Also our plan when she moved back was to try to have a baby. So we kept trying and trying and she got pregnant and we found out for sure that she was in February. We were engaged already. I thought we were going to be able to start the family that we planned together... After she found out that she was pregnant she ended up leaving me maybe a week and a half after she found out. She moved back to West Virginia. The part that really sucks is that I had no clue that she was gone. I was at work and I get home and there was an index card that said she wasn't happy and she was moving back and she left the ring on the table with the card. I don't really understand where I went wrong. I don't know why she broke up with me. I don't know why she's not in love with me. We've known each other since we were 14. She always loved me. She always wanted to have a family with me. She always told me she wanted to marry me. She kept asking when I was going to ask her to marry me and she kept talking about having a kid. She wanted to settle down. She wanted to have a baby with me, etc. I don't know what changed and she won't tell me what changed either. All I get is "I don't know" "I don't know why I feel this way." "I want to say I love you, but I don't" "I care about you a lot but I don't know"... And it really really hurts me because I can't see myself with anyone else. I've always loved her. We have so much in common... we play video games, we like the same music, we like the same food and snacks, we have the same views on life, she loves to draw, she loves the same movies as me, etc. I can't see myself marrying anyone else, I can't see myself having sex with anyone else, we've been broken up since February and nothing has changed... she still doesn't want to be with me, she still tells me that she will never get back with me. And the only reason why I'm really coming on here and venting is because I don't have any friends in real life. I only had her. I only spent time with her. I have a few select friends but I don't hangout with them like I used to. And my best friend doesn't even live in the same city anymore. I'm really sad and I really love her with all my heart. Everything I tell her doesn't matter and nothing changes. I really want to have a family. I don't want to have a baby and not have a family. I always wanted to be a father. I always wanted to have a family with her. It doesn't feel right being separated and her having the kid and me just being alone... looking like a dick of a dad. Because I ALWAYS want to be in my child's life. I don't know my dad and I don't want to be like him. But I want to be with her. I don't know. Half of the stuff I'm typing probably doesn't even make sense. I'm just venting. |
 Check out my: YouTube &; Twitter &; Tumblr | |
 |
 
|
| TheHBF | Apr 8 2012, 10:32 PM Post #2 |
Mr. iOS
|
All I can say is to be strong and hang in there, man. A lot of thing could be the reason for this. Girls change their minds all the time and maybe this is just a result of her hormones getting fucked up because of pregnancy, but I'm not a doctor so don't take my word for it. Maybe she's afraid of the commitment or maybe she's just overwhelmed. My advise to you is just live your everyday life like how you would do it. If you need to talk and cry to a friend, do it. But listen to this, NEVER EVER call her and beg for her to come back. Just let her make her mind up, if she doesn't want to talk then leave it be. One thing I learned is that its never good to show someone how desperate you are to get them back after a break up. Show her that you're ok and that you can function normally without her. I know it sucks but you shouldn't let this destroy you. Its one of those things that you just have to deal with. Try to move on, that's my best advise. If she wants you back then it will happen, but TRY to move on. |
 TheHBF V.2.0 YouTube | |
|
|
|
| Faaip de Oiad | Apr 8 2012, 10:45 PM Post #3 |
Level 3
  ![]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v633/PDorr3/forum/endingpip.png)
|
HBF said it well...don't beg don't do anything stupid. I don't want to be the bringer of bad news but she could be felling bad about something that you don't know about...Don't dwell on it though. just talk with her all you can and be calm and cool and what happens will happen..life goes on just keep living. |
 XBL Collinkiller Youtube http://www.youtube.com/user/collinkiller1990 | |
|
|
|
| sdcpro | Apr 9 2012, 12:27 AM Post #4 |
Level 9
|
The relationship you had with your girlfriend sounds very similar to what I have with mine. I have friends, however I don't hang out with them as much as I used to. We've been together for the last 3 years and I've known her for 4 years. We plan on moving into a house together soon. I can't imagine myself with anyone else and things are looking like I'll marry her. We have had times where it has been rough. Sometimes she may not voice her feelings on serious issues, even if asked, which leads to her to think I don't care. There are times where I do not understand or put in the effort to really try to either. It's not something that we can't work through, however I do feel that we may have similar girlfriends in attitude. I would honestly recommend just talking with her calmly and not treat it as the end of the world. If she ends up just wanting to move on, it'll be hard but you'll still be fine. My last girlfriend, in a serious relationship, died in a car crash. It was the worst period in my life, however time moves on and things get better. As I said above, I'm very happy with my girlfriend now and can't see myself with anyone else. Things will get better man, just keep at it. |
| |
|
|
|
| CarsAndGames | Apr 9 2012, 12:35 AM Post #5 |
|
Level 4
|
Let's talk. Let's just say I've been in your exact position. I met my ex at 14 years old, dated her til I was 21. Needless to say she got pregnant. 2 months later we split. I saw the kid for the first year of it's life. Then she left again, and now 4 years later I'm trying again. All I will say is think about the kid first |
|
|
|
| Eltimo21 | Apr 10 2012, 08:45 AM Post #6 |
Halopwns Before
|
Just wait for her to realize what she is missing out on. She is probably just overwhelmed with what's going on. If you doesn't want you back then forget about her, it's the easiest thing you can do. Just don't forget about the kid and always be there for her/him. Just take care and if you wanna talk about it more feel free to message me through PM. 
|
 | |
|
|
|
| XxKomebackKidxX | Apr 10 2012, 09:18 AM Post #7 |
 
|
Girls don't know what they want 99% of the time. Even if they tell you what they want they will change their mind leaving the guys confused because females try to overcomplicate crap. I've had plenty of relationships and all the girls are the same, saying they want something one minute, you give it to them, then they turn around and change thier mind. As far as i'm concerned they are all selfish and don't understand that guys, through the macho exterior, have feelings too. |
   Check out my Youtube vids for reviews/ vlogs/ collections/ top10s/ pickups http://www.youtube.com/xxkomebackkidxx Like my Facebook Fanpage: https://www.facebook.com/XxKomebackKidxXFanpage Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/XxKomebackKidxX | |
|
|
|
| xTatSplatx | Apr 10 2012, 09:35 AM Post #8 |
Level 4
|
Females (myself included) are fickle creatures. On top of that, you add two emotionally stressful situations (planning a wedding AND being pregnant), and you pretty much have a recipe for disaster. Honestly, the best thing that you can do right now is to give her some space...you know the whole cliche saying that if you really love someone let them go and if it's meant to be they will come back? Well, it's a cliche for a reason..it's true. I know that it probably seems impossible to do right now, but continue on with your life, and allow her to continue on with her's. Then, once a few months or so have passed, meet up somewhere for lunch or something, and see where things go from there. If you two are meant to be a family together, then it will happen. However, even if you two aren't, think about the kid first (which you already seem to be doing, and that's awesome!). The worst thing that you could do would be to constantly continue to ask her why she doesn't want to be with you, or why she doesn't love you anymore, etc...this will just cause her to hate talking to you (because she honestly probably does not know the answers to these questions herself..remember, women are fickle!), and that will make it hard not only on you, but your child as well. |
| YouTube - "I'm a Gamer, Dammit!" | |
|
|
|
| CarsAndGames | Apr 10 2012, 09:37 AM Post #9 |
|
Level 4
|
ding ding ding. Here's my situation now. I was working 85-90 hours a week, made a crapton of money blahblah. All I heard was " I never see you". So I quit my job, and I'm in the process of starting my business.. All I hear now? " We fight because we are always together" ......really? |
|
|
|
| Soulless | Apr 10 2012, 09:42 AM Post #10 |
I killed Abeloth.
|
I haven't read anyone else's responses. All I can tell you is that I'm married and have been for 13 years. Throughout, there have been trying times. Our beginning sounds very similar to yours only I was the dick who told her that I didn't want to be together after we got pregnant. I'm not too patient, but that is what is needed here. It's all very scary having a kid. Your life forever changes in ways that you can't imagine. Everyone tells you how it will change, and I especially love it when people who don't have kids do that, but nothing actually prepares you for marriage and children. That may be what she is struggling with. So, my advice to you is to keep her in your mind and your child, but go about your business like you should. Keep in contact, go to the doctor appointments, be supportive. This can be looked at almost like a test. You get to show what type of man you are, will be, as well as husband and what type of father you want to be. Don't give up, but also know that there is a very real chance that things may not work out in the end and you have to find some way to be ok with that. Good luck man. |
Death is certain, life is not. We have taken the noise of gunpowder as our rhythm and the sound of machine guns as our melody. | |
|
|
|
| SwitchStyles | Apr 10 2012, 09:53 AM Post #11 |
|
Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici
|
Thanks for all the advice. But also it would be really hard to meet up with her and go to doctor appointments when I live in Kansas and she lives in West Virginia :| |
|
Check out my: YouTube &; Twitter &; Tumblr | |
|
|
|
| browland1 | Apr 10 2012, 09:56 AM Post #12 |
 
|
I've been through a number of relationships that I initially thought were "the one", so I know what you're going through. As others have said, her leaving is probably more due to her inability to handle what is happening versus anything you have done. Let's face it, it's easy to be happy and fun-loving when you're in a good relationship, but bringing marriage and children into the equation is a game-changer. Some people can't handle it and make drastic decisions. The best advice I can give, and it's been said already, is to focus on yourself and getting better. She may change her mind one day as she matures or gets a better grasp on the situation, but you can't bank on that. Accepting the new reality that things have changed is the first step towards getting better, and while it may hurt like hell now, you'll be better in the long run. You're depressed and feelign desperate to have her back now, but those are temporary emotions and you will recover with time. However, the only way you can do that is to let go and accept what has happened. This probably doesn't help now, but it's actually a good thing that this happened now as oppose to after you are married or the child is born. Better to find out these things about a person sooner rather than later. The last point is about the child. If she decides to have the child, you have legal rights as the father that she cannot take away, so I recommend talking to someone with legal expertise on that. Even if you decide not to be involved, you may be on the hook for child support, so it's best to get an expert opinion on your options. Of course, follow this path when you feel able to do so. You obviously have a lot going on right now. Anyway, I hope things get better for you soon. I could bring out every cliche in the book and they would ring true, but you know them already. Just take your time to heal and then decide what you next moves are going to be. |
| |
|
|
|
| CarsAndGames | Apr 10 2012, 09:57 AM Post #13 |
|
Level 4
|
Yeah child support will suck especially with the distance. BUT with her just leaving like that you might be able to pay less due to the distance she is forcing you to travel. |
|
|
|
| AndsyRR | Apr 10 2012, 10:05 AM Post #14 |
 
|
While this doesn't necessarily help your current situation, I believe the ancient adage still rings true to this very day. Bitches be crazy. |
| |
|
|
|
| XxKomebackKidxX | Apr 10 2012, 10:17 AM Post #15 |
|
This, I suppose, may be true. |
|
Check out my Youtube vids for reviews/ vlogs/ collections/ top10s/ pickups http://www.youtube.com/xxkomebackkidxx Like my Facebook Fanpage: https://www.facebook.com/XxKomebackKidxXFanpage Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/XxKomebackKidxX | |
|
|
|
| Soulless | Apr 10 2012, 10:57 AM Post #16 |
|
I killed Abeloth.
|
Then I suggest finding a way to be in town on the dates of those doctor appointments. Or at least try to make a couple, if for no other reason than to check in and on the baby. |
|
Death is certain, life is not. We have taken the noise of gunpowder as our rhythm and the sound of machine guns as our melody. | |
|
|
|
| SwitchStyles | May 30 2012, 06:35 AM Post #17 |
|
Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici
|
|
|
Check out my: YouTube &; Twitter &; Tumblr | |
|
|
|
| lol_pc | May 30 2012, 07:10 AM Post #18 |
\m/ (>_<) \m/
|
Huge congrats to both of you, that's wonderful news !!! Oh, and 12 FPS? How dare they show your baby on low settings, your baby deserves DX11 graphics running at 60 FPS!!! Edited by lol_pc, May 30 2012, 07:21 AM.
|
 Fin moron do Taazokaan fen kod zeim ul  | |
|
|
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| « Previous Topic · Off-Topic · Next Topic » |
11:40 AM Jul 13